Christians and Calling

Christianity has gotten too calling based. In the days of the disciples and Paul, Timothy and Barnabas these men didn’t go around looking for their calling. Searching desperately for a profession. Instead they just got up and did something. Jesus called. He called them from fishing boats and tax offices. He called them from the tops of trees and Dr’s offices and when he called they came forward. But they didn’t sit around waiting to be called. They didn’t ask Him “Master, now what?” They just walked with him and went. They just got out of their boats and got down from that tree and left their offices and went towards him. They didn’t ask any questions, they just went. Their hearts were his.

And although they weren’t perfect, even after they had been called they still messed up, they still went. They didn’t say, “Wait until I’m better Lord.” They didn’t say “Wait I need to know more about you first.” They didn’t say “Wait I need to love God more first.” They just got up and walked towards Jesus and let Him do the leading from there. They didn’t need to know where they were going. They never asked, “Am I the right person for this?” They never questioned if they should be doing something else for Jesus. Something just as great, but different, in a different location or in a different job. No. They just walked with Jesus walking right beside them.

They went to where Jesus was and worked. They did whatever he asked in that moment. Hand out these loaves of bread. Find that boy. Go to this town. Do not complain. Sit down and eat this meal with me. They did it when he asked, not wondering if they were prepared. Not assuming that they might be doing the wrong thing. They just did whatever whenever he seemed to be asking them.

We get so caught up in our specific calling. How does my personality blend with my past experiences and my education and my passions to line up into this specific area? And where all of these things line up therein lies my calling. And with this calling I can do this one thing as long as I do it for Jesus. I don’t doubt that some people are better at things than others. I don’t doubt that some things come naturally to some people while others struggle to even try them. But I think that anyone can learn anything if they just give it some time. I think that if anyone is willing to do anything and if they do it with all they have then Jesus says, “Good job.”

I don’t think God ever says, “Well that was good, but it would have been better if the person I had called did it.” I don’t think God ever says, “You did a pretty good job at that, but in doing that you missed out on your one true calling.” I don’t think God looks at the details of our jobs. I don’t think he looks at the cities we’re in or the specific area of our field. Instead I think he only looks at one thing, our heart. Our willingness to do whatever needs to be done wherever we are. If there’s a fire burning down a house put it out. If there’s a man who’s hungry give him food. If there’s a cat stuck in a tree help him down. I think it helps if we have a hose or a sandwich or a ladder, but I also think that in those situations, if we’re there, and willing to extinguish that fire and feed that man and save that cat, then God will gladly provide the water and the sandwich and the ladder.

I spend so much time analyzing over and over what it is that God wants me to do in any given moment. And I think that he really just wants me to live. He really just wants me to get up off of the couch, put down my laptop, get off of the internet, and go outside and live a life. Serve where someone needs help. Love where someone is lonely. Hug someone who needs to be touched. Smile at someone who hasn’t been smiled at in a long time. And if I’m willing to go 2000 miles to smile at those people I don’t think God ever says, “ I had people in your back yard I wanted you to smile at, now who’s going to smile at them? You really messed up there.” No I think he says, “I’m glad you went there. Here’s some more people who need to be smiled at.”

All of this, “Should I do this, should I say that, should I work here, should I apply there, should I go to school, should I move there, should I join that, should I volunteer there” is really just me trying to please everyone around me. Because I know that the consequences I’m so deeply afraid of are actually consequences from not giving the people in my life what they want. So, instead of making up my own mind and disappointing them with my decision, I use God as an excuse. I use God as a crutch. They can’t be disappointed if God told me to do it. So I wait and I wait for God to tell me when all the while God stays silent.

I keep waiting for a puppet master when really God is a hands off kind of God. I believe he is intimately acquainted with me, but I think that he is intimately acquainted with my heart, not my skill set.

I believe that God blessed me with a brain, a brain that learns things quickly and understands things and questions things that it doesn’t understand. I believe God blessed me with eyes, eyes that see beauty and color that love to look at nature and fabrics and texture. I believe he blessed me with ears. Ears that listen when they're working right, that pick up on subtleties in conversations when they're in tuned, that love music and the sound of laughter and waves and trains and the voices of people I love. I believe he blessed me with hands. Hands that hold tightly and type very quickly and love the feeling of textures and other peoples skin. That can hold books and babies and food and other hands. Hands that clean and give and lift up and caress. I believe he gave me arms that love to hug and feet that are able to walk and legs that I can stand on and a butt that I can sit on and a mouth that I can talk with. 

But from there, everything else has been learned and developed. I do believe that some things I’m just good at while other things I’m not, some things I often enjoy while other things I usually don’t, but I also deeply believe that I can get better and worse at anything. I’m not always in the mood to hug someone and I don’t always feel like listening. Sometimes I make decisions very quickly and other times it takes me months. Sometimes I’m so articulate it surprises me and other times I stumble and mumble over my garbled jarbled words. And I don’t think God really cares about any of these specifics, because he can do anything at any time with what he’s given me or what he hasn’t. He can give me the words when I need them and give me the people who will hug me back. He just needs one thing. A willing heart.

So God

I will try to stop searching so desperately for answers and direction. For a calling and an end goal. And instead I will say, “Here I am. Arms open wide. Here’s my heart. Take all of me.” And I will get off of my bed and serve where I’m at. I will look for opportunities to love others. And I will go places where help may be needed and ask, “What can I do for you?”

You are lovely Lord.

Love.