Something bothers me about being single. It’s not the actual state of being single in and of itself. Nope. It’s the look on my married friends’ and coupled friends’ faces when they ask me if I’ve “met anyone” or if I’m “seeing anyone.” As they ask me this question, they always have such hope in their eyes, then as I tell them no, I see the disappointment spread across their faces. I never understand this. As if me being single means that I am not actually meeting people.
Single implies lonely. Single implies sitting in my house alone eating bon bons or Ben and Jerry’s out of the carton. Alone. With a bunch of cats. And wearing a worn tattered house robe and house shoes that have seen better days. Single always implies sad. It implies looking. But not ever finding. It implies incompleteness. So for the record married and coupled friends, I am not sad. I am not lonely. I am not searching. Or on the hunt. I meet people every day. And I am not incomplete.
Last night after my down blog about the girls’ group, I was searching around on Google for other blogs and came upon this video. It was random because I think I looked up “Christian writing” or something like that and one of the top posts was a blog that had this video listed on it. I really like it. Not only because it expresses some of the sentiments I listed above, but I also just enjoy its presentation. I love the quirkiness of the doodles and the magical quality of the words flowing across the screen. I actually enjoy the presentation more than the actual content of the video, but I like that also. I think it’s funny that this video was apparently posted in July 2010 and already has over two MILLION hits! I guess it resonates with a lot of people.
It kind of has a sad quality to it so I'm a bit hesitant to put it on here, but I think the point of the video is very positive. To me this video is less about being "single" and more about learning to be alone. As much as I enjoy people, and apparently am an extrovert, I really do enjoy my alone time...
Love.
Amazing. That is the first word that came to mind about your post & the video. The hectic pace of Friday, with the joy of knowing that it will be two days of unshackling from the cruel time clock, make it hard for me to be articulate especially while still at work and currently tethered but I will make an attempt at comment.
ReplyDeleteYou are so right, there is something the pangs my heart when someone asks "Am I seeing/dating anyone?" and I answer “No” - especially when the asker is married or engaged or themselves dating. The downcast expression on their face make me feel like I need to apologize for my "no", like I need to convince them that I am not antisocial or the early makings of a crazy cat lady. I feel this brief breeze of shame followed quickly by a wafting wave of anger; anger at myself more than anything because why should I feel shame? With all these emotions blowing past and around me, I get confused. While in this confused emotional state in which I fight a milliseconds war within myself, I fear that my facial expression has glazed over into that of a simpleton adding fuel to the fire of “Why I am still single?”
I observe others “couple-ly-ness” with kind acknowledgment and respect but I don’t make it central to who they wholly are (though they themselves may). I wish my “singleness” (it sounds like a disease) was treated in a likewise manner. We are ALL more than the sum of our check boxes on income taxes forms and internet surveys. I value community, contact, family, marriage, love and all that gush that country western songs are known for. I don’t and won’t feel bad because I have yet to experience one aspect of life is of value. Meeting a man followed by dating followed by engagement followed by marriage followed by baby shower - is NOT the most valuable thing in life. It is valuable and good but it’s not the supreme enchilada and my highest goal. The supreme reality, truth, way, and completer in life isn’t marriage, home or the American flag - its Jesus Christ of Nazareth. I need to remind myself of this often. I won’t use Jesus Christ, Lord and Savior as a consolation prize for life lived unmarried. I fear some Christian women are forced into treating Jesus that way, bullied into “loving Jesus” until such a time as a man will choose them. I can’t do that to Him, He is too valuable, too precious and too completing. He paid too high, too painful, too terrible a price for us to be treated by us as anything other than supreme enchilada in our life and all life.
Now that I have gone off on really long possible awkward tangent I must get back. The time clock master is waiting...
Love ya and keep writing!